Your habits don't lie

A few weeks ago I asked you to look at your identity. What you actually believe about yourself, not what you want to believe.

Last week we talked about what that belief produces - a standard. And that standard is running whether you set it or not.

This week is where it gets practical.

Your habits are just your standard showing up every day. They don't lie about what's underneath them.

This is why most people have abandoned their New Year's resolutions by mid-February. They were going to work out, put the phone down at 9, finally start that thing they've been putting off. Wrote down the plan. Told a few people. “This is going to be my best year yet!”

Six weeks later, they're off the path.

It's not a willpower problem. It's a belief problem. Do they actually believe they're the kind of person who does those things? Not eventually - right now? Too often the honest answer is no. So they're trying to live habits that belong to a version of themselves they haven't stepped into yet. And those habits keep sliding off because they don't fit.

When you get honest about who you actually believe you are, something shifts. Some habits become obvious - of course that person does that. A few fall off the list entirely because they were never really yours. You borrowed them from someone else's life and wondered why they never felt right.

"Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before." - C.S. Lewis

The habits that match who you believe you are don't feel like a war. They're hard sometimes, but they fit. The ones you're constantly fighting to keep - those are usually running into an identity that hasn't changed yet.

Your identity has a standard it requires. That standard shapes what you do every day. The habits are just what that looks like on a Tuesday morning.

The Challenge

Pick one habit you keep trying to build but can't hold.

Don't look at your schedule or your system. Ask whether the person you actually believe you are keeps that habit.

If the answer is no - that's not a discipline problem. That's where the real work is.

Live above the line.

For you, Kevin

Thanks for reading this. Share it with anybody you think would find it useful. And as a reminder, NO DRIFT is not mine it is ours. I want to know what you think, what you want to hear about, what you are learning. All feedback is welcomed.