You don't need more time

Most guys I talk to don’t think they have enough time.

I get it. Work doesn't let up. Kids have practice and homework and a meltdown at 7:15. Their wife has her own stuff going. The calendar is legitimately full. Again, I completely get it. And I’ve believed the same lie.

After a few conversations, something else shows up underneath. The time's there. They're just almost never in it when it's happening. On a call at 9 thinking about the meeting at 2. Sitting at dinner with their head replaying the conversation with a colleague from earlier in the day. Watching their son's game and drafting a sales pitch in their head. There, but not really there.

The Greeks had two words for what we call time.

Chronos is the clock kind. Hours and minutes, the thing you tell your boss you're "out of." That's the version we talk about, because it's the only one the calendar can see.

Kairos is different. It's the moment inside the moment. The specific opening where something real is on the table - a conversation actually happening in front of you, or thirty seconds where your kid looks up and wants something from you, or the small window in your marriage where you could say the thing you've been avoiding. Kairos doesn't hang around. It shows up and it leaves.

Most men I know are decent at guarding their chronos. Protect the morning. Run tight meetings. Say no to the calendar invite that isn't serving anything. Good habits, all of it.

But they'll walk right past kairos and not feel a thing. Miss the moment their son actually wanted to talk. Or the opening in the hard conversation with their wife. Or the thirty seconds where a better version of themselves was right there and they grabbed the phone instead. Chronos got defended. Kairos got missed.

That's the drift nobody really talks about. Not the obvious kind where a guy gives up and checks out. The quieter one, where you're technically present for your life but almost never actually in it.

The Challenge

Pay attention this week to what specifically pulls you out. There's always a pattern. For you it might be the phone. Could be a worry running in the background no matter what's in front of you. Maybe a mistake you made that you continue to replay. Whatever it is, be aware of it - you can’t change what you aren’t aware of. And once you’re aware of it, pull yourself back into this moment. It’s the only moment that matters.

Today is all you have. Own what's now.

Live above the line.
For you, Kevin

Thanks for reading this. Share it with anybody you think would find it useful. And as a reminder, NO DRIFT is not mine it is ours. I want to know what you think, what you want to hear about, what you are learning. All feedback is welcomed.

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