Who showed up today?

I sit across from a lot of guys who can describe, in detail, the version of themselves they want to be. Calm under pressure. Present at home. Honest. Confident without needing to prove anything.

They can also describe, usually with a hint of shame, the version that keeps showing up instead.

Two men. One body. Most of us are walking around like that.

The first guy is your Designed Self. You didn't build him. He's who you were made to be. The version of you that shows up when you're grounded, leading from what you actually know and believe instead of from what you're afraid of. You've been him before. You know the feeling. It’s what Gallwey calls Self 2 in the Inner Game of Tennis. The version that knows how to play tennis before fear interferes.

The second one is your Default Self. He runs on an operating system of fear. When pressure hits and doubt starts to get loud, he takes over. He has a pattern. He always does. There's a belief underneath him about who you are or who you have to be, and when things get hard, that belief gets loud. It’s what Gallwey calls Self 1. The version that over-analyzes, that criticizes, that gets in the way of who you really are.

Most guys think they have a performance problem. They don't. The real one is upstream. They've never named the Default Self, never traced him back to the belief that's running him. So he just keeps running.

Last week I asked what your family would find if they had to go through your life tomorrow. The gap between these two men is what that question was actually after. The Designed Self is the story you'd want them to find. The Default Self is what's getting written on the days you're not paying attention.

I think what most of us get wrong is that the work isn't to manufacture a better version of ourselves. He's already there. The work is to catch the Default Self in the act, name what he's reacting to, and choose the other guy - over and over. That's what living above the line actually looks like, day to day.

The Challenge

This week, watch for your Default Self. He has a tell. Maybe he gets quiet and cold. Maybe he gets loud and short. Maybe he checks out and reaches for the phone. You know him. Just raise your level of awareness.

When you spot him, ask one question: what am I believing about myself right now? Whatever shows up - I'm not enough, I'm going to lose this, I have to control it, they're going to find out - that's the interference. You don't have to fix it today. Just see it. Awareness is the first reset.

Then choose the other guy. Even for one minute. Even for one conversation. He's already in there.

Today is all you have. Own what's now.

Live above the line.
For you, Kevin

Thanks for reading this. Share it with anybody you think would find it useful. And as a reminder, NO DRIFT is not mine it is ours. I want to know what you think, what you want to hear about, what you are learning. All feedback is welcomed.