DEFINE IT FIRST
I asked a guy last week, “What does it mean to be a disciplined man?”
He paused. Fumbled a bit. Then gave me a vague line about “working hard” and “being a good dad.” It sounded right. But it wasn’t his. It was generic. Almost like he was reciting what he thought he was supposed to say.
As a mentor once told me, “When you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”
Most men have strong opinions about other people’s standards. They can spot weakness in their coworkers, friends, even their kids. But ask them to define their own standard? Crickets.
They know what discipline looks like when someone else lacks it. But they’ve never slowed down long enough to actually define it for themselves. And getting better starts with the man in the mirror.
And here’s what I’ve seen over and over working with men:
The men who drift have no definition. They react to life. They judge their days by feelings. Their progress is measured by, well, it’s not measured.
The men who lead themselves well know exactly what they’re building toward. They’ve named their standard. They measure against it daily. They know when they’re winning and when they’re lying to themselves.
So here’s the challenge: Can you define it?
What does a disciplined, intentional man look like in your relationships?
In your health?
In your work?
With your kids?
Not what sounds impressive on Instagram. Not what you think you “should” say. Your actual, honest, personal standard. The beauty of this is that there is no right answer, there is just your answer.
Now the question is, are you living your standard? Remember, this was your definition -not mine or anybody else’s. This is the starting line. The foundation. Because once you define it, everything changes. You stop making excuses. You stop comparing yourself to other people. You start holding yourself to your own standard - and either you’re living it or you’re not.
📌 QUOTE OF THE WEEK "The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
🧠 INSIGHT:
Standards without definition are just wishes.
You’d never run a business without metrics. You wouldn’t coach a team without a game plan. But most men run their entire lives with no clear definition of success.
When you define your standard, you create clarity.
Clarity kills drift.
You know where you’re winning and where you’re making excuses. You know what to say yes to and what to cut out. You stop reacting and start leading.
NO DRIFT CHALLENGE
This week, write down what a disciplined, intentional man looks like in three areas:
1️⃣ Health
2️⃣ Relationships
3️⃣ Work
Be specific. No slogans. No fluff. Real, personal standards.
Then ask yourself: Based on my definition, am I living it?"
Reply to this email and tell me what you discover. Even better - post it on Instagram and tag @no.drift. Let’s build a community of men chasing clear standards together.
CLOSING THOUGHT
You can’t hit a target you haven’t defined.
You can’t hold yourself accountable to a standard you’ve never written down.
Stop aiming at nothing. Start deciding.
For you,
Kevin
Thanks for reading this. Share it with anybody you think would find it useful. And as a reminder, NO DRIFT is not mine it is ours. I want to know what you think, what you want to hear about, what you are learning. All feedback is welcomed.